June Bugs are suicide bombing my windows… noisy.

…and counting. What is your favorite so far?

People that I know buy me weird stuff. They know me! I love weird obscure crap! I really like weird foods as well. Like as the title says, Instant Jelly Fish! Asian countries may think that this is normal thing, but to us “Mericans” if it isn’t between two buns or covered in cheese, it sucks. So anyway…

A friend of mine went to a little ma and pa Chinese specialties store, and found me these…

“Instant Jelly Fish” What can this possibly mean? What I thought in my mind was like some “just add water” powder substance that you let sit for a minute and you had yourself a jelly fish. I was wrong.

This was actually a two in one package, for two bucks you get a couple packages of “Jelly Fish” What a deal! That’s like, a DOLLAR EACH! When I was gripping this package with its squishy, springy contents,  I wondered what possibly the shelf life of this could be. Well I took myself a gander and…

Oh, how about that… If you are having trouble reading that it says “15/09/2011” September 15th, 2011. As of writing this it is April 10th, 2012. I am wondering how long it was actually sitting on that shelf… When I read that, I thought to myself “There is no way I am going to open this now!” but I decided to challenge myself… To the kitchen!

Alright! I grabbed a plate I wouldn’t miss in case the worse happens (in retrospect I just realized there were paper plates right there… whatever) and had my microwave on stand by, ready to prepare, so I take a peak at the back…

…No preparation directions… Just ingredients in multiple languages, well it looks like I am going to have to do this solo, no help from anyone, I don’t need no Chinese package telling me what to do anyway, I’m a MAN! (I like reading the line “meduses instantanees” though, it is just as fun to say as well!) SO lets see what we have to work with…

Alright, we have a packet of some sort of oil… a blue packet of rock hard “powdered” seasonings… and well… what I am assuming is the jellyfish… I have to admit I was afraid to open this, all I could imagine is a horrible stink would flow out that would linger in my home for eternity… and it didn’t have a convenient “rip here” slit, I either had to use all my strength and rip it open with my bare hands and risk getting questionable fluid and jellyfish limbs all over me… or you know… use scissors, I opted for the later. So I cut it open, took a step back, and plopped it on the plate…

There it is, surprisingly it was kinda scentless… at first, I got in close for a whiff, didn’t smell anything, I stirred it up a bit and got closer… The stank reminded me of when I was in 10th grade and I had to bisect a squid, it smelled slightly like squidy embalming fluid, but very faint, it wasn’t very strong at all, so I decided to throw the other ingredients on it to see if that would make it a bit more attractive…

Well I opened the blue packet of “powder” but it was just a giant clump of seasoning salts, and then I put the oil packet on as well to hopefully soften it up, it did no such thing. I stirred it up as much as I could but the brick didn’t soften. I took a whiff to see if that would make it any more appetizing, I stepped back disgusted, it somehow smelled worse, and well, saltier… I had enough of this, it was making me sick to my stomach and I knew there was no way in hell I was going to try this, so I decided to do the only sane thing …

It is tossed, sorry folks, I would not dare try it… but who knows, I do still have one more packet, maybe in the future when I decided Ive had my fill of life I will give it a try… well hey thanks for letting me waste your time.

I have recently been very addicted to collecting vinyl. Anything from classic hits to current jams. The one thing that I have really been going after though are strange video game themed albums. The next one I am sharing today is a song that I absolutely adore, and has been a favorite of mine for years!

It is a Jam Called “They call me Sonic” It’s such a strange song, with lyrics “They call me Sonic, I am faster than sound, I keep on Jumping around, Blue Hedgehog Sonic, with incredible speeds, I’m moving my feets”. This is a song I downloaded randomly in the days of Napster, and Kazaa. I would download any song that just had the word “Sonic” in the title because I’m obsessed! Take a listen…

This version playing was the radio edit, the reverse side has a extended version, nothing different, it is just a few minutes longer. The other track “Rave Sonic” is interesting though, because it seems to have no involvement with sonic at all, no lyrics, and no songs or sound effects from the game, it is a good song though.

…and thanks to my boy Landon for giving me that Sonic figure. It is dope.

Going through a bunch of stuff laying around. Will probably find something cool to write about…

I found a bunch of old clips on my cell phone I completely forgot about, decided to share them with the world, most of them are of me getting hurt it seems…

Artsy Rubber Duckies, I call it “Personal Fowl!” I was going to make it in Black and White, but I’m not an art student, I don’t think I am allowed.

WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!???? CHEAP!!!! Fuck Gamestop.

I have had so many records come in the mail recently, some of them are amazing, most of them make me question my taste on like… everything… I just got this in the mail Today…

Yup, Pump up the Jam, released in 1989, now in my possession, Finally! It’s a bad picture I know, but who do you think I am? A photography student? Nah I’m just some retarded honkey who buys twenty year old dance record singles. I have a huge soft spot in my heart for electronic songs from the 90’s, this is only a small step into their world. This record has 4 tracks, two on each side, all exactly five minutes long except for the last one. The first track is listed as “(VOCAL ATTACK)”, the second is “(ORIGINAL MIX)”, then side b has “(JAM EDIT MIX)” and finally we finish off with (7” VERSION)” Which is only 3:36. Do any of these mixes sound any different from one another? Yes and no, yes in the fact that all the different segments are arranged differently and some repeat more than others, and no… because well… it’s all the same song just cut up.

Well now you know I suck, and I waste my money. BUT THERE’S MORE WHERE THIS CAME FROM! STAY TUNED!!!! Oh yeah, never heard the song before? Shame on you, check it out here…

So I got a “Crosley Traveler Portable Turntable” and I absolutely love it, so I have been recently hunting down special records these last few weeks. I’m not looking for Beatles, or Pink Floyd records though, I am looking for obscure shit that no one else but the me will like. I have been hunting like crazy online and have spent way more money than I should, but I am happy about it. I checked my mail today and I received one of the import records from Germany that was supposed to take a month to arrive (it took 1 week). It is the H.W.A Feat. Sonic the Hedgehog, with their hit single Sonicboom!
Wow, that was awful, it was any typical early 90’s electronic song mixed with Sonic sound effects. Fortunately I love awful 90’s electronic music, AND Sonic! This is something I love to hate! I am so happy right now, you can’t even imagine. I have even more showing up soon, so get ready to hear all about them!